My sweet girls.

My thought is this:

We have our trials, just now, and always. And instead of giving the tentative little emails, I thought, to keep a record, that belongs to us, so we can look back and see what we've done. I'm scared, I am - I may not be getting my honors though my professor loves my thesis - some sort of politics in the university, and a man I've never met. (Always men. I swear, when we found Giavanna was a she it made me pretty sure the baby wasn't going to ruin anything for Tara.)

And I'm graduating. And my mother. And I'm coming home at the end of a long summer, and we will see if any good can come of it.

The other thing . . . I've decided I spend too much, in time and money, on excesses in my life. And I should stop it. There are a few things that I always wanted to put energy into, and instead I go for long drives, or read the same books over and over, or (cringe) watch bad TV. Or get laid. That I've definitely been doing, to great effect, lately - which is fantastic but the man's a poet, and I'm put to shame by his dedication to time for writing. He woke up in the middle of the night and left me sleeping to go write for a few hours. He called the next day all excited about what he'd done and I thought I hadn't done that in a long time. Jason, too, he does that. Taravitch, sweet girl, you manage it too, but you never make me ashamed of myself. You're almost my excuse for not doing it - I think every time I don't want to do something I think, well, that's one of the other girls' domain.

So. Someone give me a task for tomorrow. Running or reading something particular or writing something particular or job hunting or anything at all. Give me a little mini-quest, just for me. I think that's part of why I did this, too. So we can all push each other a little more.

Except Tara. Tara pushes herself hard enough. Tess and I are going to have to give you tasks like, "Make yourself a cup of tea and think about lotus blossoms for an hour." Yeah. Like that.

Love.